Realizations

The past few weeks have been hard. Between the 16th anniversary of my mother's death, I'm sorry but you never get OVER it, you just get used to it. Still, when I published my first book, it was her I wanted to tell so badly. So I planned book two to come out on that anniversary, it was important to me. Because of Mark, it was a day late. He has been heavy on my mind. I have been losing sleep over this guy. Why? Why him? Because of how he made me feel.

I realized today that it’s not him, per se, that I miss, but the fantasy of him. The dream he allowed me of what a future with him could have been like. The lovemaking, the talking, the laughing, sharing, loving and touching.  Connecting on a deeper intimate level, that I have not connected on in so many many years.  So thank you for that, thank you. I really do hope you find what you’re looking for and that she deserves you and makes you happy. But it's time for me to let go of the fantasy of us.  

Goodbye.



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