ShaunaMarie's Ramblings

I started this crazy ass journey back in August. I have lost count on how many men I have spoken with, exchanged emails, texted and skyped with, the number is scary honestly. Lots of toads, a few high-quality men, who I managed to intimidate and scare off with my intensity, maybe? I have no idea, one day they just stop talking. I guess it’s a common thread, so what is it exactly that men want? What is it that they expect to happen if they show up like a real man and actually tell you, "Hey it's just not working for me", good luck with your search. What do they think? I guess there are some scary women who would get angry and lash out, if she’s all that, then just walk away, but there are those of us out here who just want to know, so we don’t make the same mistakes the next time. I can usually go over every conversation, ruminate over them actually, and find several dozen reasons someone would find me undesirable. So, news … fuck… Ok so in the last couple weeks I ...

It's been awhile since I updated you on the dating front... well there's not much to say really. The married man is gone, his lame excuse... "You are just too far away." Ok, got the hint, "You just aren't worth the effort." Loud and clear! Met Tall guy. Actually in person. Very nice guy, very very nice. I think too nice really, for me. I am a rotten sexual being and he is... a little sexually repressed I think?  Have no idea with this one, he was falling in love one day, wanting to be the best boyfriend I ever had and dumped me the next (well a few days later. It all happened in the course of a couple of weeks... What the hell is it with me? Again, I would say to the guys out there: Be honest. Be open. We are adults not children. If you can't handle breaking it off with someone with some honesty, then don't date. Maybe its a misunderstanding, miscommunication. After all you are both new to each other. Fuck, give it at least a conversation...

What a whirlwind. There truly are a lot of men out there looking, so those of you who think there are no men out there our age (50’s), think again. Back when I was in my 20’s (yesterday, right?) I had a friend in her 50’s. She told me it was the best time of her life. The men were coming out of the woodwork and she loved it.  I remember laughing at her because she was about my size now, back then. Peggy loved those younger men. She was so young at heart and they seemed to fit her personality well.  Bless you, my friend. I still think of you often.  In so many ways she was right. Those young ones came out of the woodwork, but I don’t want a boy. I want a man who knows what he’s doing. Who’s been around the block a time or two. Who understands where he fucked up and won’t make that mistake again. In other words, I want him to come trained. LOL.  I don’t want to train. I’ve met quite a few men, ok not met in person. I haven’t met any of them in person. It never got...